Offline Dating Vs Online Dating

Offline dating is whereby an administrator of the website Interacts with members as they apply through a private secure online application. The application may have a setting that allows the administrator to manually approve or decline each application. That way, if the administrators feel the member does not meet the criteria of what the other offline dating members are looking for, they will be denied access and notified through an email. Offline dating can build a private community based on its mission statement and be more selective. This can result in more targeted searches and a higher percentage of matches with a smaller number of members.

Online dating is whereby there are no administrators interacting with members as they apply. Anyone can fill out an application and they become members. Online dating is an open community and by using algorithms, you search for your match. This can result in less targeted searches and a lower percentage of matches with a larger number of members.

The advantages of offline dating are you can meet a member in person at an event in your city. Offline dating companies typically host Mixers in different cities for its members and many Mixers don’t charge a fee to attend. There is a cash bar and members are encouraged to purchase one drink that the venue keeps. This arrangement allows the offline dating company to host free Mixers. The member don’t pay to attend, the offline dating company doesn’t pay for space to host the Mixer and the venue makes money from the cash bar.

The advantages of online dating are members don’t face rejection at live Mixers. They initially contact each other and establish a virtual relationship that may or may not lead to an in person meeting. The goal is to meet offline and after a period of time establishing a virtual relationship, a level of comfort and trust is established. This may make the first live meeting less stressful.

The costs of offline dating can be more because attending some events might cost more. Some events are free, such as attending a 2 hour cash bar event at a restaurant. Some events such as a destination trip, a ski trip or cruise ship will cost more.

The costs of online dating are less because you know what your monthly charge is and at any time, you can cancel your subscription.

The technology with offline dating companies are a combination of algorithms and human interaction. When a member registers and gets approved, their profiles are uploaded to the system and are not visible by other approved members. Only the administrators of the website can access members profiles and invite members to events, send updates on new happenings and offer dates for a fee. If a member wants to search through the offline dating sites database, only administrator can perform that function for him or her. When a search is completed on behalf of a member interested in finding matches, the system generates appropriate matches based on algorithms that the administrator sets, usually a 70% or higher compatibility. Once those appropriate matches are generated, the administrator can send a photo and bio for the member interested in getting dates to view, with just a click of a few buttons. No other information about the member is sent.

The member requesting dates then selects a handful of members he or she would like to go on a date with and email the administrator which ones. Next, the administrator then sends those handful of members a photo and bio. No other information is visible. Finally, when any of those handful of members reply they would go on a date with the member requesting a date, a date is ready to be completed. To complete the transaction, the administrator sends a secure electronic invoice for $25 and once paid, the administrator sends the contact information for one of those members that is waiting to be contacted to go on a date with. This is a 5 step process all driven by technology and a push of a few buttons that can take less than 15 minutes per date. The process with offline dating companies is simply setting up a guaranteed date, whereby both members have seen photos and bios and both agreed to go on a date. This can take the anxiety out of arranging a date and save time.

The technology with online dating companies are very simple and straightforward. Members apply online, upload their information, pay a subscription fee and can search and contact other members as the system produces matches based on algorithms that the administrator sets. The advantage is members can view hundreds of profiles and contact hundreds of members, all by paying a monthly subscription with no assistance of an administrator. The challenge comes when a member is interested and contacts another member, that member might not reply. Time and effort spent developing searching and contacting other members might not result in any dates.


Ready For A Relationship? Ladies, Not So Fast

Relationships. They are a great thing when they are right. Two people coming together and sharing a deep, loving bond that is pure, honest, genuine and nothing short of divine – that is powerful. When two people are aligned to each other’s life vision and come together to better each other’s lives, what a dynamic duo. So if you’re single and want a relationship, I imagine that may be what you’re looking for. And that kind of love can happen for you. But not if you settle. A number of women today seem to be okay with accepting breadcrumbs from guys. They are desperate to be in a relationship or at least have someone so they put up with receiving mere sprinkles of attention or affection. The main reason I believe women settle is because we’re programmed to. They started us off with the baby dolls and doll houses from a young age conditioning us that our role is taking care of home and being good women to our husbands. So we grow up fantasizing about our wedding day, our knight in shining armor and raising a family – the picture perfect American dream. And 30 somehow became the magical age for which this perfect dream should occur by. So if you hit 30 and you’re single, then society leads you to believe there’s something wrong with you. And so we start questioning our worth as a woman. Contrary to popular belief, a woman’s purpose on this earth is NOT to just be a wife. It’s NOT just to be a mother. Every woman was blessed with gifts and talents by God so in addition to utilizing those gifts, she can choose to become a wife and/or mother. You are NOT defined by a man or your relationship status. Many women are getting into relationships for the wrong reasons and it continues to end in disaster. To avoid repeating the same cycles like a broken record, here are a few signs you may be getting into a relationship for the wrong reasons:

Rushing. You hit age 30 (or over) and you’re panicked. You believe you are old. Somehow you’re convinced that if you’re 35, for example, you’re old. Well that mindset is what will get you into the wrong relationship because your intent for a relationship is just so you’re not too old and have someone versus actually being with the right person. You believe you have to hurry up because your biological clock is ticking. And while some may argue that statistics show the older a woman gets, the harder it is for her to conceive, there are also plenty of women who birth healthy babies over the age of 30. According to, “many women today find themselves trying to conceive after the age of 35. This opportunity can be full of joy and riddled with questions. Despite some challenges, many women in their thirties and forties successfully conceive.” I understand that you want to give yourself the greatest chance regarding fertility but would you rather rush and be bonded for life with a child by the wrong man or wait for God’s best? I hope you prefer the latter. Rushing into a relationship cannot be good.

Filling a Void. Do you really want a relationship or are you just bored? Are you just lonely? Sometimes we get into relationships to fill a void. We look to a person to fill a void in our lives that can only be filled with our own self-love. You need to get back to some activities that you like. Get back to your goals and dreams. What are your passions? What enlivens you? You want a relationship to fill something internal. You’re seeking external validation to make you feel like you’re worthy; if you get in a relationship, then that shows that you’re still desired. Well if you get in a relationship looking for someone to show you your worth, then don’t be surprised if it doesn’t turn out well. Only you should determine your worth. Work on yourself. Invest in yourself. Give back to yourself. In other words, take time out for yourself. This way you’ll fill yourself up and won’t need to go looking for a relationship to fill a void in your life.

You’re Not Ready. Are you really ready for a relationship? Are you really ready to put in the work required to build a solid foundation from the ground up or are you just in love with the idea of being in a relationship? Many of us are simply not ready for love. We think we are because we watch romantic movies or read romance novels. Unless you are willing to take your time and really get to know someone beneath the surface, you’re not ready. You’re not ready to make someone else a priority. You’re not really in a space to give to someone else. Love comes to give. You have to take the other person into consideration when it comes to certain things. You can’t behave like or have a single mentality if you’re going to be in a relationship. You have to start preparing for it. Really think about if you’re really ready to commit to someone else fully or are you honestly just into the idea of it all? Give up the fairy tale. It’s not reality.

I believe in love. I believe that people can manifest true love. I believe we can all have the love we want and rightfully deserve but we must not settle. We need to do the internal work within ourselves as well. Let’s get clear on where we are in life. A relationship (or marriage) isn’t going to magically make everything better. Do the inner work and be honest with yourself about your intention for a relationship. Don’t rush and get into a relationship just for the sake of having one. You deserve so much more. You’re a Queen. Love yourself enough to wait for the best.


Timing Counts In A Relationship

Human beings are social animals. Most of us crave the comfort and warmth of sharing life experiences and love with others. Most of us crave the intimacy of a love relationship, with shared hopes, dreams, and adventures of life.

We want deep and loving relationships, and they are a lot of hard work to make them happen. A friend of mine said, the dream is on the other side of the hard work.

Having the dream is worth it. That makes the hard work worth it, too.

Part of the hard work is being realistic about timing.

Timing matters about dealing with things within a loving relationship.

If your partner has had a lot of external conflict or stress in the day, it is probably not the best time to bring up talking about a new challenge you are interested in. It may be time to listen, to just be together, and to nurture, rather than a time to bring up additional conversation that may be stressful.

Timing also matters in starting a new relationship. Being in a healthy place and relationship with yourself first gives a better chance of relationship success.

What kinds of timing issues could there be?

1. Work Stress. If your career is at a point where it is demanding 70 or 80 hour weeks, where you are exhausted the rest of the time and your mind is full of work challenges and solutions, it’s probably not the best time to try to start a new relationship. Your date may very well feel neglected and overlooked. What can you do? Make some changes in your priorities if you can. Or have a conversation, let the person know you’re interested and that you need a bit of time to straighten things out. Either he or she accepts that and is willing to wait a bit, or not. You’ve taken responsibility, and need to accept both your situation and the response.

2. Financial Difficulties. Tough financial times are not a good time to begin a relationship. Your partner could feel used as a money resource. You could embroil your partner in your problems rather than find common interests.

3. Recent breakup. No matter how well you broke up, you will have some loss to deal with. It’s best to heal from the baggage of your loss before you try to enter into a new relationship.

4. Recent trauma. It could be a death in the family, an illness, the loss of a job, even being in an accident or a crime victim. The best idea is to work through your emotions over the trauma before investing in a new relationship. Things are going to come up until you deal that will interrupt and strain the exploration and fun you want to have.

5. Long Distance. Relationships are hard enough without adding long distance. In a new relationship you want to get to know one another, spend time together, and share experiences. The honeymoon phase of a new relationship is precious. Resentments may occur that wouldn’t happen without the distance challenge.

Timing in Relationships is crucial. Stresses are going to happen. If you are in a committed relationship, seeking good timing counts, for dealing with life issues.

Setting a time together to talk can be a good idea. For a new relationship, diving in when the timing is wrong is a set-up for failure and disappointment. The goal is love and happiness. Be mindful of timing.


13 Things You Need to Know Before Dating

Long gone are the 1950’s era of romance. Boy likes girl. Boy gives girl flowers. Boy meets the parents. Girl meets his parents. They get married happily ever after. Nowadays, dating is much more complicated. Careers, finance, mixed families through divorce, social media, internet, etc.

While the dynamics of dating have changed in many ways thanks to feminism and social media, you would be surprised at how little some things haven’t changed in terms of what men and women are looking for in a partner. While it is now common for women to work outside of the home and cheating is more rampant than ever thanks to technological advances in communication, men and women are still attracted to many of the same qualities they were 60 years ago.

From personal experience and through surveying hundreds of men and women, I have discovered some very inconvenient truths about the hearts of men and women.

1. Men and women are rarely “just friends”: That’s right! When men and women spend a lot of time communicating, biology and science says that one of the parties will probably develop a secret sexual attraction. The male counterpart will usually be the culprit, as men are more sexually driven than most women. Men will be “just friends” with a woman if that’s all she truly desires, but be rest assured, a man will wait patiently for his chance to strike! While there are some exceptions, generally, men and women can’t be “just friends”. If you’re in a relationship, it is very practical to be jealous of your partner spending ample amounts of energy and time communicating with members of the opposite sex who aren’t you! We were biologically designed to mate with each other after all! While it is tempting to lash out at your partner for texting or spending time with members of the opposite sex, it is best to sit down and discuss what is appropriate and what isn’t. If you can’t come to an agreement, it may be a clear-sign that you don’t share the same values in order to build a proper relationship. Perhaps your husband loves to have lunch with his female secretary, while you think it’s an invitation for temptation, he sees it as “innocent”. But be warned, whatever you ask of your partner, you should be able to hold yourself to the same rules and standards! If your husband or boyfriend is spending large amounts of time texting or hanging out with another woman, unless it is purely for business purposes you can almost guarantee that he is sexually attracted to her. While women often keep many “guy friends” on the side to use as “emotional tampons” to vent their frustrations on or to keep around as “back-ups” in case their relationship doesn’t work out. Many surveys show that 60% of men and women have “back-up” lovers. A shocking statistic that really makes you wonder if men and women can truly be monogamous.

2. Men are more shallow in terms of appearance: While there are always exceptions to the rule, men are generally more caught up in a woman’s physical appearance than a women is with a man’s appearance. 9 times out of 10, a man will choose the supermodel woman over the plain looking career-woman any day of the week. However, as a man matures, his preferences may balance out. Instead of going for the perfect 10 with a bad attitude, he will find more satisfaction with the “7 or 8” who is more well-rounded, dependable and nurturing. Men biologically seek out women who are physically attractive as a way to carry on healthy genes in their children.

3. Women are gold-diggers, kinda?: There is a common misconception that women are only after a man’s resources and income. While it is true that women are definitely attracted to wealth and status, that isn’t to say that a woman would not date a man who is poor, so long as he is actively pursuing goals. Women are attracted to driven men who are determined to build a life for themselves and their family. This goes back to our caveman (cavewoman) instincts. A man who is building a career for himself can be seen a potential provider and protector of the family. While there are some modern career women who prefer to be the leaders of their family, once women have children, they will almost always desire to stay home with their children while the father provides. It’s a natural evolutionary cycle.

4. Do men like feminists?: If you look at any typical feminist: She has a career mindset, dyed purple hair, nose ring, loud, says fathers aren’t necessary, usually ends up in their 30s as a childless career woman or they end up dating weak men who take on a more submissive role. This is why there is a huge exodus of men who are seeking out wives who are from places like Asia, Latin America, and Eastern Europe where the women are more submissive and feminine. However, due to the rising cost of living in the west, many American men are warming up to the idea of women seeking out careers and practicing more independence to alleviate their own financial stress.

5. Sex and money are still the main motivators for marriage and divorce: People get married because they enjoy eachother’s company (sex) and/or one of the partners is a good financial provider. Conversely, these are also the same reasons why people divorce! When the sex begins to get boring, one of the partners fails to maintain their physical attractiveness, or the income-earning partner loses his/her job, the chances of divorce skyrocket! sex and finances are the two most important things in a relationship.

6 Men need to shut up and just listen!: When women come to men with their problems, men will often interrupt with suggestions on how to fix the issue, the woman will then become annoyed and stop talking all together at the surprise of the man. However, what women fail to realize is that men have “mechanical” brains. Due to our evolutionary role as “providers” and “builders”, men sometimes fail to see the emotional rationals behind a woman’s speech. Sometimes women just want to vent without receiving a “Self-help” pep-talk in return.

7. Men show their love in more basic ways: Women often dream of the man who plays guitar, writes poetry, or does grandiose romantic gestures. While men sometimes perform these acts, especially during the early stages of dating, men are a bit more practical in the ways they show love. As Steve Harvey often says, “Men show their love with the three “P’s”, – Profess. Provide. Protect”. Men will honor their women by publicly professing, “This is my woman!”, they will provide for her by earning a good income for the household, and they protect her by scaring off any would-be creeps who would try to hit on her or make advances towards her.

8. Women care more about kissing than intercourse: While women enjoy the sexual act of intercourse, many women will admit that love-making without kissing makes them feel “dirty” or “used”. For a woman, kissing is the ultimate expression of love. When a man kisses a woman without sex, it shows that he craves her soul, not just her vagina. Many women have admitted to me that they would be more angry at a cheating spouse for passionately kissing another woman than they would be if he simply had intercourse with another woman without kissing being involved, since men often compartmentalize their sexual actions in terms of love and pleasure.

9. Why do men and women cheat? With social media making it easier to stay connected with ex-lovers and pretty much anyone we meet on the street, cheating has become easier now than any other time in history. It is also easier to get caught thanks to the “screenshot” option used on our phones. While men have had mistresses since the dawn of time, it was an act that was done discreetly and was associated with shame if caught. Now, it has become also an expectation that you will not be the only person someone is sleeping with. Men tend to cheat based purely on novelty. They get bored having sex with the same partner everyday, and seek out new lands to conquer. They may be completely in love with their wives or girlfriends, but they seek out the excitement of a new body to explore. It is purely a physical thing. Women on the other hand, usually cheat when they feel emotionally neglected by their spouse. Their affairs begin with an emotional fling that later becomes physical. This is why society is harder on women who cheat because of the common held belief that women cheat with their hearts, while men cheat with their penis.

10. Love is held together by three chemicals: Serotonin and Dopamine are released anytime you see a beautiful woman, anytime you kiss you someone, anytime you have an orgasm. These chemicals activate the pleasure centers in your brain, essentially turning you into a drug-addict, craving more and more. As you continue to repeatedly kiss, have sex, and spend time with this person, another hormone slowly begins to produce. “Oxytocin”, aka ” The love chemical”. Oxytocin is responsible for the feelings of “attachment”. When you break up with your spouse, or they die, you go through a withdrawal of oxytocin, dopamine, and seratonin, which is quite painful. Without oxytocin, your mom, your father, your brother, your wife, they would mean nothing to you. Attachments would be almost impossible to form with them. Like most things in life. everything is created upon “habit”. Relationships are no different. They do not form in one day, they are created through imprinted repetition. And before you know it, you are thinking about this person everyday without realizing how it happened! Thanks to serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin, this person who was once a stranger, is now constantly on your mind! This can be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on how the relationship unfolds. It is great for the happily married, but not so great when a break-up occurs, which can take months or even years to recover from emotionally and physically.

11. STDs are more common than you think: 70% of people over the age of 40 in the USA have some form of herpes, while many don’t even know they have it. In fact, it is so common that many doctors don’t even test for it anymore. In terms of race, African-American Americans have the highest percentages of STDs, followed by Caucausians (whites), then Latinos, and with Asians having the lowest percentages of STD rates. No matter what the race is of your partner, before engaging in sex, it is important to discuss this topic with your partner. “Are you clean?”, if the person knowingly has a disease and lies about it, that person could face legal actions. Medically time-stamped records will show when a person was diagnosed. If your partner was diagnosed with HIV in 2006, and they told you they were clean in 2007, then that person has essentially committed a criminal act against your health! If you are positive for an STD, be sure to be completely honest with your partner. They will respect you much more for it.

12. Child support: No matter what form of birth-control you use, there is also a 1% chance it could fail. A good rule of thumb is to never have sex with someone who you couldn’t imagine being the parent of your child. 60% of marriages in USA end in divorce. If you are a man, that means you will probably be paying child support, which means that half of your check will be confiscated for the next 18-20 years. How does that ramen noodle dinner taste? Being unable to pay child support payments can result in losing your drivers license and/or being sent to prison. It is no laughing matter.

13. Rape and false-allegations of rape: Before letting a potential partner come to your house, or you go to their house, be sure to spend a lot of time meeting up at public places, talking on the phone, and truly building a foundation of trust. Men are very much sexually motivated when it comes to dating. Any hint you give them in regards to having sex, they will most likely not turn it down. However, men should know the difference between consent and non-consent. If a woman says, “No! I’m not ready’, that means “Take your hands off!”. It’s that simple. Some men do not understand this. However, there are some women who engage in consensual sex with a man and then latter regret it. In order to save face, they may cry “rape”. There have been many famous cases regarding false-rape allegations that have destroyed the lives of innocent men. Having casual sex is very dangerous for both men and women for this reason among many others listed.

Relationships can be a lot of fun. Traveling together, hanging out, having companionship, enjoying sexual chemistry. However, it also requires much sacrifice and taking responsibility. Sex is an act designed by nature to create life. It is pleasurable. The pleasure behind sex encourages our species to multiply. Sex was not designed to be a toy. It is a way to create bonding between two people as a secondary benefit, and to create life as a primary benefit. Sex and relationships are no laughing matter. When they work out, they create wonderful memories full of life and joy. When they don’t work out, they can literally ruin the emotional, physical, and financial health of those involved. Love should not be shunned, but it should also not be taken lightly.


How to Find Your Soul Mate – Stop Looking (5 Tips for Women)

As previously stated, women are supposed to be pursued (men are hunters by nature). So, stop trying to find a soul mate; you’re violating the established protocol. For that reason, this article recommends five strategic moves. In addition to obtaining the desires of your heart, they’ll help you avoid heartache, stress, and sleepless nights.

5 Tips

  • Seek wisdom.

Since all good things come from above prayer seems like the first sensible step. Discuss your desires with the Creator- not your friends, co-workers, or family. During the conversation, don’t forget to listen! You’ll gain the inside track. Unlike the others, he knows what’s up ahead as well as the master plan for your life. It’s already in motion.

  • Re-Position Yourself.

Instead of going on a hunting expedition, think about repositioning yourself. Now God is the master strategist and can maneuver like no other. Still, being in the right place doesn’t hurt. What places do you frequent? Are they appropriate? I, for example, know when I don’t fit. It creates an uncomfortable feeling. What is more, are you hiding like a hermit? Making yourself scarce will cause you to miss the divine connection.

  • Scrutinize every encounter.

Did you notice that Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz stuck to her mission while traveling down the yellow brick road? She encountered three different men – the lion, the scarecrow, and the tin man. Each male needed something. Guess what? Dorothy assessed their situations, she encouraged, she provided assistance but remembered the goal. All in all, Dorothy returned to Kansas.

Similarly, we encounter different men on this journey called life. They need encouragement, insight, or just someone to listen. It’s okay to help; God created women to nurture. However, avoid giving more of yourself than necessary. Dorothy knew what to give and what to withhold. Do you?

Consequently, choosing the wrong road gives rise to confusion and delays. So, complete the assignment then return to the mission. You can’t afford to muddy the water. The stakes are too high.

  • Be anxious for nothing.

Desperation equates to anxiousness, and my Bible says to be anxious for nothing. Worry along with doubt make you crazy. You start thinking and believing the wrong stuff. “I’m too old. Time is running out.”

At length, you decide to take matters into your own hands. Instead of making progress, nevertheless, you end up going five steps backward. A word to the wise is sufficient. Desperation is a dangerous perfume to wear. Aside from giving the wrong scent, it doesn’t become you.

  • Grow your faith.

Simply put, this tip is crucial. Why? Growing your faith impacts every aspect of your life – not just receiving a soul mate. Faith goes the distance. Likewise, you must commit to go the distance. Since faith comes by hearing and hearing, saturating yourself in the word is essential.

Are you ready to build your faith muscles? Begin exercising daily by listening to the Word, studying, reading, meditating, speaking accordingly, and continuing to stand even when it seems like nothing’s happening. That’s why it’s called faith. Prepare to stand.


8 Easy Ways to Be a Better Girlfriend

Being the best girlfriend doesn’t have to be difficult. Simply being trusting, open and focused can go a long way to help you stand out. Let’s take a look at a few things that can help to maintain the happy relationship:

Be trusting

Trust in very important in any relationship. Men aren’t likely to like or appreciate the overly suspicious girlfriend. If you aren’t able to fully trust your partner, you may not be in a relationship with the right person. Try to avoid the type of situations that lead you to searching his phone or questioning his whereabouts. You should instead have faith in your relationship. By showing that you trust your partner there is a much better chance that he will meet your expectations.

Maintain your focus

Don’t get in a position of letting your relationship be the sole focus point in your life. Beyond your relationship, you should also have your own interests and life. Whatever it was that you did before the relationship started is likely to be what made you interesting to your partner in the first place.

Be open and honest

If there is something going on in your life that is concerning you and your partner asks what the problem is, you should simply tell him. Try to let him know what you need and what you think. It will typically benefit to avoid a situation that leaves him making guesses to try to find you what the problem is.

Be attentive

There is a very noticeable difference when it comes to being clingy and being attentive when out and about. It is best to avoid being overly clingy because this will give the impression that you are very needy. If you are in a happy relationship there shouldn’t be any need to prove to others that you are together. Additionally, it is important to avoid flirting with your partner’s friends.

Don’t hassle or argue

Make sure to avoid getting in a situation where you regularly hassle or argue with each other. In most situations the other person will simply tune out when they start to get nagged.

Respect each others space

Most men don’t want to be a constant companion or always be open to discussing their feelings. If you try to discuss his problems when he isn’t ready or want him to be with you all the time, there is a risk that you may simply push him away. It can benefit to simply be patient and leave him the time to start a conversation that relates to private issues. Take things slowly to give the relationship the time it needs to develop naturally.

Don’t attempt to change him

It isn’t likely to help a relationship if you want to change your partner. It is more practical to accept him as he is. If you aren’t happy with things like his occupation, what he says, or the way he dresses, then he isn’t likely to be the right one for you. When you partner accepts you without wanting to make changes, you should be willing to be just as accepting.

Get involved

Be more involved in what interests your partner. Whether it is craft beers, music, sports or politics, you should try to engage with him and at least listen when he talks about his day and what he has been up to.


Don’t Do This To Her

You are in a relationship, everything is in the open between you and your partner. There is nothing in this world that you can’t do or ask between the two of you. But you are all human. There are deeper aspects of the relationship that you may need to ask about.
However way you choose to go about them please do not do this to her…

Don’t Be Unfair
She is he person whom you have decided to be exclusive. Always try to look at her in a positive light. She is the last person you would wish harm to come her way. Why do you want to be unfair to her?

Why do you want to judge your partner the same way you judge your friends! She is special that’s why you chose her.

If you don’t like something about her, don’t you think it is wise to talk to her in a way she gets to know what you would have preferred be done.

Some habits are hard to shake off and if your partner makes an effort to fight off that nagging one, a rewarding kiss or a big hug would be a hood way to appreciate her effort. This small gesture will steer her in tune.

No Blame Game
You do not want to create or increase the level of distrust. No heart can be warmed when you keep blaming instead of taking responsibility for your actions. You could be blaming her for something you initiated. Create a problem solving atmosphere in an open way that makes her feel included. This way of sorting problems will lead to a healthier relationship.

Do Not Confront Your Partner in Public or Private
As you walk the path of love as one, Chances are that, whatever irks you will make her angrier. An honest communication between the two of you cannot create a room for unnecessary altercations. Focus on what she says before you respond. Your response should be void of criticism, blame or demands. when the two of you are angry chose to be with and steer the conversation in a less angry tone. She will only calm down when you show that you understand why she is angry and you trying to sort it out.

Do Not Try to Change What You Don’t Understand
What’s upsetting her?… She looks unsettled and the first thing you want to tell her is ‘relax sweetheart’. Kindly try to understand what is bothering her first. If there was none she would be so comfortable on your lap. To show her your curiosity and openness on the matter is the biggest step in making her relax.

Don’t Break up With Your Partner Twice
If you are in the habit of breaking in and out of your relationships, one of this days you will end up alone and sorry. If you want a break up, say it and get through with it so it doesn’t look like a threat or an attention seeking antic.
Create a calm environment to initiate the break up conversation. Don’t do this in the middle of an argument. Your anger may cloud your judgement on what she has to say about the breakup.

Don’t Put Her on a Defensive Mode
You either trust her or you don’t. If you don’t please walk away because she doesn’t have to explain to her close friends why it is difficult for her to believe in you.

Don’t be Silent on Difficult and Uncomfortable Things
Your partner is in the relationship because of what she believes in. What you believe in is an addition to her own self-worth and confidence in the relationship. Talk openly about your fears. She will feel involved and open up on the uncomfortable truths that initially you could not talk about. Doing this is more like fighting your own insecurities with the help of your partner.

A long, stable, and lasting relationship depends on how you view your partner, how you relate to your partner, how you communicate with your partner and most vital is how you listen to your partner.


How to Be Successful With Women

As the first of nine children, it’s fair to say that having a sister within a year of me has provided 37 years of ongoing insight and experience into interacting with women. In addition, my 20 plus years as an adult in the workforce have consistently revealed a self-perpetuating patriarchal mindset that asserts men are superior to women, denying them respect and justifying unfairness towards them. That’s something my sister has never submitted to, her inherent self-esteem and confidence dismissed that kind of indoctrination. Thankfully, confident women like her have challenged this bias with their efforts and presence, reminding all of us of the need for justice and personal development to successfully achieve our collective potential. Sadly, not all men have been able to cultivate such support for equality, instead actively participating in the sabotage of their own grandmothers, mothers, sisters, aunts, nieces and daughters. In this article I will share three areas of insight and action that can allow for a greater collaboration between men and women in the workplace, supporting a much needed culture of inclusion, equality and diversity.

Offering consistent respect is the first area of importance, one that should be considered a basic human right and a mandatory condition for any interaction. Regardless of one’s title, gender, religious adherence, sexual preference, socioeconomic or political place, such respect allows for healthy boundaries of physical safety and genuine intellectual and emotional consideration of another’s contribution. I’ve found it quite natural to extend this same level of respect to everyone that I’ve worked with (including of course, women) and that this same level of respect was reciprocated. As a result we were able to create a work-life culture that supported both our personal and professional happiness. Collaborative ideas were validated and easily executed, sales and production goals were often exceeded and customer retention was increased, all resulting in greater revenue and more financial rewards for ourselves. I began with this area of respect because I am absolutely convinced that having it present counteracts and resolves many work related concerns.

The kind of fair and prioritized wisdom that values respect also leads to my next area, encouraging the acknowledgement of ideas. This definitely means more than just listening. Most of us would agree that women are generally more verbally communicative; one important aspect of this is that they tend to share more with those whom they feel particularly trusted and respected by. The reason this is of great importance in the workplace is because women are informed and active in many consumer activities with regularity on a scale that men are not, enabling them to control a large extent of our gross domestic product. A short visit to your local shopping center will attest to this obvious truth, while online retailers like eBay and Amazon are predominantly geared towards women. Given this, their creative input is a vital source of potential data and innovation only made useful when it is actually heard, validated and acted upon. Encouraging them to share their ideas will create benefit and a driven kind of unity when those ideas are acknowledged and incorporated into methods and production.

Our willingness to celebrate and reward collaborative efforts equally is the third area to consider. This creates a cultural shift recognizing and affirming the importance of men and women working together towards mutual goals. Up until recently the standard of inequality in the workplace ensured a competition between men and women that was rigged, offering a patronizing kind of encouragement that women still have not seen rewarded consistently in their paychecks. As we all recognize how our efforts are made meaningful, it’s time to really highlight our successes based on the first two areas above and transform those into changes that steadily reward women on an equal footing with men.

As technology advances, we are globally closer, resulting in greater competition in the marketplace. This also allows for information and dialogue about innovation, success and justice to be consistently shared publicly in a way that used to be more hidden, subverted and controlled. Online campaigns or reports can create a crippling boycott of a company with its head stuck in the sand regarding equality, whereas real-life success stories of companies that are embracing and visibly reaping the benefits of incorporating these three areas can create surges in growth for a business. In both the employment and consumer market, it’s easy to guess which company a woman would want to align herself with.

This is truly a time of the strongest being of true service, at least in regards to the marketplace. The sooner we encourage the greatest from each other the sooner we will attain untapped potential within ourselves and in the marketplace. We have to refrain from the subtle adverse mindset that a woman’s success means a man’s lack of success. In my last article, “Implicit Bias in the Workplace”, I mentioned our ability to include each other’s contribution was not a zero-sum situation. My hope is that we are all rewarded on our merit and nothing else. As men, if we are going to expect justice and fairness for our own grandmothers, mothers, sisters, aunts, nieces, and daughters, we are going to have to be an example in our own respective positions as we practice respect, acknowledge ideas and celebrate and reward our collaborative efforts with women to realize all of our greater advancement.The battles we fight together are the ones that will define us tomorrow.